 From category Jewish Jokes "Good morning sir," Morty Goldstein says as he greets the salesman. "I came to this store because I don't like to bargain."
"Well, you've come to the right place," says the salesman. "We're strictly a one price outfit."
"Excellent. I like that blue suit over there. How much is it?"
"Like I said, I don't fool around with bargaining. So I'm not going to ask $250 for this suit, or even $235. I'm going to give you my best price: $220."
"Well, you're my kind of businessman," Morty says. "That's why I'm here. I won't fool around and offer you $160 for that suit, or even $175. I'll give you $200 for it."
"You can have it for $210."
"I'll take it." E-mail to a friend Send to a friend through Yahoo MessengerJoke mark: 9 (from 1 marks) - Give a mark for joke From category Jewish Jokes A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Moishe."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "C. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Moishe every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Moishe. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something, huh?"
Cabbie: "He had a memory like a computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole neighborhood blacks out."
Passenger. "Wow, some guy ehh?
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me.
Passenger: "Mmm, not many like that around"
Cabbie: "And he knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good and never answer her back, even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Moishe."
Passenger: "Then how do you know so much about him?"
Cabbie: "I married his widow." E-mail to a friend Send to a friend through Yahoo MessengerJoke mark: 7 (from 2 marks) - Give a mark for joke
From category Bar Jokes One night a man was getting very drunk in a pub. He staggered back to take a piss, whipping his prick out as he went in the door. However, he had wandered into the ladies room by mistake, surprising a woman sitting on the can, "This is for ladies!" she screamed. The drunk waved his dick at her and said "So is this!" E-mail to a friend Send to a friend through Yahoo MessengerJoke mark: 9 (from 2 marks) - Give a mark for joke
From category Female Jokes 8 ways vodka is better for women than cocks!
Vodka is always stiff. It doesnt look smaller in the cold. It lasts as long as you want it to. Vodka doesnt prod you in the back in the morning demanding attention. You dont care how far down your throat vodka goes. You can have as many vodkas as you like in 1 night without being "easy". You can enjoy a vodka in front of your Mum and last but not least... Vodka is always a pleasure to swallow! E-mail to a friend Send to a friend through Yahoo MessengerJoke mark: 8.92 (from 13 marks) - Give a mark for joke From category Viral Messages English for beginners: "Three witches watch three Swatch watches. Which witch watches which Swatch watch?"
Advanced English: "Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watches which Swatch watch switch?"
English for experts: "Three swiss witch-bitches, who wish to be switched swiss witch-bitches, wish to watch three swiss Swatch watch switches. Which swiss witch - who wishes to be a switched swiss witch - wishes to watch which swiss Swatch watch switch?" E-mail to a friend Send to a friend through Yahoo MessengerJoke mark: 3 (from 4 marks) - Give a mark for joke
From category Little Johnny LITTLE JOHNNY TELLS A STORY
Little Johnny sees his father's car passing the playground and go into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees his father and his aunt Jane "hugging" in the parked vehicle.
Johnny finds this very exciting and can barely contain himself so he runs home and starts to tell his mother, "I was at the playground and I saw daddy's car go into the woods with aunt Jane. I went to look for them and I saw daddy giving aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then aunt Jane helped daddy take his pants off, then aunt Jane lay down on the seat, then daddy..."
At this point, Johnny's mother cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story. Suppose you save the rest of it for suppertime. I want to see the look on daddy's face when you tell it tonight."
At the dinner table, Johnny's mother asks him to tell his story, so Johnny starts to talk, describing the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and...
"...then daddy and aunt Jane did that same thing mommy and uncle Richard used to do when daddy was in the army." E-mail to a friend Send to a friend through Yahoo MessengerJoke mark: 9.5 (from 2 marks) - Give a mark for joke
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