Dirty Jokes

  A boy takes his girlfriend home after going out together. When they reach the front door, he leans against the wall with one hand and says, "Sweetie, why don't you give me a blowjob?"
"What? You're crazy!"
"Don't worry, it will be quick, no problem."
"No! Someone may see, a relative, a neighbor..."
"At this time of the night? No one will show up..."
"I've already said No, and NO!"
"Honey, it's just a small blowie... I know you'd like it, too..."
"No! I've said NO!"
"My love... Don't be like that..."
At this moment, the girlfriend's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightgown with her hair totally in disorder. Rubbing her eyes, she says, "Dad says either you have to blow him, I have to blow him, or he will come down and give the guy a blowjob himself, but for God's sake, tell your boyfriend to take his hand off the intercom!"
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Joke mark: 9.95 (from 20 marks) - Give a mark for joke

  John goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this great big huge guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down and says, "7 feet tall, 350 lbs, 20 inch penis, testicles 3 lbs each, Turner Brown". John just faints dead away and falls to the floor. The big dude kneels down and brings him to, by slapping his face and shaking him. He asks, "Are you Ok?" In a very weak voice John says, "Excuse me, but what did you just say to me?" The big dude says, "When I saw the curious look on your face, I just figured I'd give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. "I'm 7 feet tall, weigh 350 lbs, have a 20 inch penis, my testicles weigh 3 lbs each, and my name is Turner Brown." John said, "Oh Thank God! I thought you said 'Turn Around'"
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Joke mark: 9.86 (from 37 marks) - Give a mark for joke

  Little Johny asks his grandfather: "Hey, Pops, you still have sex with granny?"
"Yes, yes, only oral sex. She tells me 'fuck you' and I answer 'fuck you too!'"
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Joke mark: 9.83 (from 6 marks) - Give a mark for joke

  What did one gay sperm say to the other?
How are we ever gonna find an egg in all this shit?
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Joke mark: 9.8 (from 5 marks) - Give a mark for joke

  What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.
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Joke mark: 9.75 (from 4 marks) - Give a mark for joke