Politics

  Boy: Dad, what's politics?

Dad: Let me set an example with our family. I have all the money so we'll call me the management. Mom receives most of it so we'll call her the government. We'll call the maid the working class, you are the people, and your baby brother is the future. Do you understand now son?

Boy: I still don't understand dad.

Dad: Think about it for a while son.

That night the boy wakes up because his baby brother is crying. He goes in and finds out he's soiled his diapers. He goes to tell his mom but she's asleep he goes in to the maids room but she's in there having sex with his dad. He bangs on the door but no one can here him.

The next day...

Son: Dad I understand politics now.

Dad: Good, explain it to me in your own words son.

Son: The management is screwing the working class while the government's fast asleep. The people are being ignored and the future is full of SHIT!
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  "Mr. Bush, you have evidence that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction?"
"Of course, I kept the receipts!"
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  The first ladies of UK, Russia and France were having a meeting with Lady Hilary Clinton. The subject of discussion was the penis of their respective spouse. The first lady of UK says, "It is like a gentleman - it stands up, as soon as I enter the room" The lady from Russia says, "It is like an army officer - you do not know where he will attack from front or back..." The French lady says, "It is like the screen in the auditorium - once the act is performed, it drops down..." Then Hilary says, "It's like a rumour - it moves from one mouth to another..."
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  The Iraq War
Donald Rumsfeld is briefing George Bush in the Oval Office.
"Oh and finally, sir, three Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq today."
Bush goes pale, his jaw hanging open in stunned disbelief. He buries his face in his hands, muttering "My God... My God".
"Mr. President, "says Cheney", we lose soldiers all the time, and it's terrible. But I've never seen you so upset. What's the matter?"
Bush looks up and says... "How many is a Brazilian?"
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  "Why 'Members of Parliament' are never robbed by thieves?"
"Professional courtesy."
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