Golf Jokes

  One man plays golf every Saturday no matter the weather. One day on the golf course the weather was particularily nasty. 32 degrees, snow, high winds. He decided he would hang it up for the day. He gets home and decides he might crawl back into bed and have some fun with his wife. He gets into the bed and puts his arm around his wife and she says, "Can you believe that idiot is playing golf today?"
[ Joke sent by Jamie Hudson ]
E-mail to a friend
Send to a friend through Yahoo Messenger
Joke mark: 9.67 (from 3 marks) - Give a mark for joke

  A man goes into an emergency room with two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his neck, of course the doctor asks what happened to him.
"Well, it pretty much goes like this," said the man. "I was having a quiet round of golf with my dear wife, when she sliced her ball into a pasture of cows."

"We went to look for it, and while I was rooting around I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was my wife's golf ball... stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my mistake."

"What did you do?" asks the doctor.

"Well, I lifted the tail and yelled to my wife, 'Holy cow, Doris, this looks like yours!'"
E-mail to a friend
Send to a friend through Yahoo Messenger
Joke mark: 9.5 (from 2 marks) - Give a mark for joke

  A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!

Doctor: I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!

Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. [dramatic pause] Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?

George: Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.

The group was silent for a moment.

Pastor: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.

Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them.

Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?
E-mail to a friend
Send to a friend through Yahoo Messenger
Joke mark: 7 (from 2 marks) - Give a mark for joke